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10.31.08

Chew on these tasty tid-bits from The Bleacher Report.

Since we have learned that Tim Tebow wears Colt McCoy Pajamas to bed, it does indeed appear that the torch of "awesomeness" has been passed. Here are some facts we found out about Colt McCoy, and we don't believe any of these are Chuck Norris ripoffs. If you think of any we might have missed, please let us know.

Tim Tebow wears Colt McCoy Crocs.

Colt McCoy sure the hell doesn't wear jorts.

When Colt McCoy was born, the Hatfields surrendered.

Everything is bigger in Colt McCoy!

Colt McCoy dug the Red River with his bare hands to keep the riffraff out of the "Republic."

If Colt McCoy had been in San Antonio in 1836, there would be no Alamo.

Colt McCoy has not only solved every puzzle on the caps of Lone Star beer, he has also created the last 114 riddles.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T’s fists collided once in the mid '80s, resulting in the birth of Colt McCoy.

From here on out the month of October will be known in the Gregorian calendar as Coltober. The Eras shall be named the same, BC (Before Colt) and AD (Anno Domini—The year of our Colt). However, they will now be adjusted to reflect the year of Colt's birth. Today's date: Coltober 29, 22 AD.

On the second weekend of Coltober, from here on out, the Oklahoma Sooners will walk from Norman, Oklahoma to Hobbs, New Mexico, the birthplace of our Colt, and then sprint to Dallas for the Red River Shootout. Any Sooner starter who cannot cover the distance in the same time it takes Colt himself to cover it (one hour, 12 minutes, 12 seconds) will be benched.

The draft from Colt's passing arm has been the cause of two of every three trailer-destroying tornadoes that have torn through Norman. With his other arm he writes novels and signs treaties.

Colt McCoy put the Bock in Shiner.

Texas Toast was Colt McCoy’s creation.

Colt McCoy convinced the Aggies that the thumbs-up sign means Gig 'em.

It was Colt McCoy's decision to declare Tim Tebow "the Chosen One."

"Don't Mess with Texas!" were Colt's first words.

Colt McCoy's sweat cures gout, Crohn's disease, avian flu, and the children of Indonesia, saving Tim Tebow's Cancun spring break plans.

At Whataburger, the sandwiches are now referred to as the Coltburger and the Bradfordchicken.

Colt McCoy wasn't named after the gun—the Colt .45 was modeled after his arm.